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First of all, I want to thank all of you for your kind words left on my last entry. How blessed I am to be surrounded by so many wonderful and supportive friends, both in my every day life and here on my blog. I have appreciated your many e-mails, comments, text messages, thoughtful cards and even a wonderful and comforting CD that one of my girlfriends made to be a comfort to me. I am so very blessed. On Sunday afternoon, I went to Jill & Derek's (my sister & brother-in-law) house to deliver the plaques that I had made for their family, Derek's parents, each of his siblings and one for sweet Kelli. It is very common to see wall-hangings, etc. with "Families Are Forever," so I wanted to do something a little different...something special, especially for their family. I remembered one of my favorite songs by Michael McLean, "Together Forever," and what a comfort it had been to me so many times. So instead of 'Families are Forever,' I picked out the last line from that song, "We will be together forever someday" and designed the quote with some of my favorite fonts on a 7"x7" plaque. They were probably the hardest crafts I have ever had to make, as I cried through every step of making them. But in the end, I think they turned out beautiful and I hope that they will provide even the slightest bit of comfort to Dave's sweet family. The night before, I found 6 beautiful silver bags for each of the plaques and also designed a nice copy of the lyrics from "Together Forever" and printed out a copy on nice textured paper to include with each plaque. Then, I made personalized tags for each bag. They turned out very nice and it made me feel just a little better to do something for their family, when I have felt so helpless the past few days. In addition to the plaques, I brought a few balloons and a gift for my niece Whitney, since her birthday was on Sunday. I knew that since the viewing was on Sunday, that it would be a very difficult day for them and wanted her to know that we were thinking of her. Jill & Derek are amazing. In the middle of their grieving, they woke up and had a wonderful birthday breakfast for Whitney. They are such incredible parents....such a great example to me.
Sunday was the first time I had seen Jill and Derek since Dave passed away. And with my hands filled with the gift bags and the gift for Whitney, as soon as Derek opened the front door, I put my head down and just sobbed. Derek helped me with the bags and then just hugged me tight. Jill came out and we all hugged and cried. This has been so hard and I am not even as close to the situation as they are. They opened their bag right away and I could see by the tears in their eyes, that they loved it. The took the one for Derek's (and Dave's) mom and dad over to them that night and gave the others to the rest of the family after the funeral yesterday. When we arrived at the viewing before the funeral yesterday, it made my heart happy and my eyes weepy to see that my plaque was sitting at the table just outside of the room next to the guest book and pictures of Dave and his cute family.
Yesterday was both a very emotional and yet very uplifting and inspiring day. While I was getting ready to leave for the viewing, my hands were shaking and tears streamed down my cheaks before I could even get my make up on. I do not do very well at viewings. I like to remember people as they were and have a hard time seeing them after they have passed away. But because the Wrights are so close to us, it was something we needed to do. The moment I saw Kelli through the door, standing next to the casket, my tears spilled over. And as I hugged her tight, we both cried. Dave's parents seemed so strong and were holding up well under the circumstances until I went over to his Dad and hugged him tight. He whispered into my ear how much that plaque had meant to them and I could feel him sobbing as I held onto him and to his wife as he said, "This shouldn't have happened." My heart literally ached for them. It was definitely such a difficult beginning.
The chapel and overflow was filled almost to capacity and as you looked around at the congregation, there was an overwhelming number of friends and family wearing light blue shirts (some dark blue), dresses & ties (all of the Wright family was in light blue and white)....for Dave's favorite football team - University of North Carolina. A simple thing, but something I am sure would have meant to Dave. The funeral services were absolutely beautiful. I was so surprised to see that Kelli was the first speaker on the program. She is a rock. I was so overwhelmed by her strength, though it was clear just how much she was hurting. She began her talk by saying, "This is the very last talk I ever thought I would be giving at the age of 26..." It was so hard to see her hurting, but incredible to feel her spirit and her faith. She shared D&C 78:17-18, a scripture that had been her favorite all through high school and college. She said that she loved it so much that she was able to recite it in her head and would do so every night.
"Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you; And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours."
Such a wonderful scripture and promise. She said that when she married Dave, she stopped reciting the scripture in her head. She felt as if the promise had been fulfilled in her uniting with her soulmate. Then, she said that since Dave's passing, she has now started to recite the scripture over and over again. Her talk was so wonderful.
In addition to Kelli, Kelli's brother-in-law, Dave's brother T.J. and his other brother Derek (my brother-in-law) spoke. It was an incredible meeting and the Spirit was so strong. Through many laughs and tears, I scribbled notes all over my program as they shared so many wonderful things. I have yet to get complete quotes gathered, but with share them as I find them. However, there are a few that I do have from T.J.'s & Derek's talks that I want to share with you, because they really touched me.....
“The Gospel has been given to heal our pain, not to prevent it.”
Marie K. Hafen
“Celebrating Womanhood”
Ensign June 1992
"When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance (see 1 Ne. 1:20)."
“The Tender Mercies of the Lord”
Elder David A. Bednar
Liahona May 2005
T.J. quoted a talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland that talked about the Three Things That Matter Most....because they are the things that we will take with us into the next life: our Character, Family & Covenants.
Derek's talk was the last of the family talks and it was so powerful that I have asked him if he will forward his entire talk to me. He is such a pillar of strength. (This photo is of Derek, my sister Jill and their cute family.) He shared with us the one thing that made it possible for their family to get through the days since Dave's passing: the knowledge that life does not begin with birth nor end with death. He said that without a shadow of a doubt, he knew that Dave's life was in order before he returned to his Heavenly Father. As he spoke, the Spirit was overwhelming and I am sure that after his talk and the talks of the other family members, every single one in attendance left charged and with a resolve to follow Dave's example and make sure that OUR lives are in order before we are called to return to our Heavenly Father. This final quote that Derek shared REALLY touched me. I had heard it before, but this time, it meant so much more.....
"How fragile life, how certain death. We do not know when we will be required to leave this mortal existence. And so I ask, “What are we doing with today?” If we live only for tomorrow, we’ll have a lot of empty yesterdays today. Have we been guilty of declaring, “I’ve been thinking about making some course corrections in my life. I plan to take the first step—tomorrow”? With such thinking, tomorrow is forever. Such tomorrows rarely come unless we do something about them today. As the familiar hymn teaches:
There are chances for work all around just now,
Opportunities right in our way.
Do not let them pass by, saying, “Sometime I’ll try,”
But go and do something today.
Let us ask ourselves the questions: “Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need?” What a formula for happiness! What a prescription for contentment, for inner peace—to have inspired gratitude in another human being. Our opportunities to give of ourselves are indeed limitless, but they are also perishable. There are hearts to gladden. There are kind words to say. There are gifts to be given. There are deeds to be done. There are souls to be saved.
President Monson
“Now Is The Time”
Liahona January 2002"
SUCH a wonderful quote. "What are we doing with today?" You can bet that that quote will be on a block or on a wall in my home very soon. Such a wonderful meeting. And the uplifting and inspirational talks mixed with sweet and fun memories of Dave were made even sweeter with the two musical numbers, "I Am A Child of God," sung by all of the little nephews, nieces and cousins and "Nearer, My God To Thee" sung by all of Dave's buddies. Music is so powerful and these two numbers brought such a sweet spirit to the meeting. I can't describe to you the feelings at the end of that wonderful meeting, but I think many of you have experienced the same. Through the knowledge we have that if we live worthy, we will live again with our Heavenly Father and we WILL be together again someday, we are able to feel such great comfort in the midst of so much grief. What a beautiful beautiful thing. By the end of the meeting, my tears for the loss of such a faithful son of God from this life were mixed with tears of joy at knowing that this sweet family would one day be united again.
After the funeral, we went to the cemetary with their family and close friends. After a few words and a beautiful gravesite dedication by Dave's dad, we spent a few moments in reverence as the family members placed roses on the top of the casket. When Dave's sweet wife Kelli brought her little girl with a rose, the tears flowed freely again. To see this and imagine what feelings Kelli must be experiencing was so difficult. But what a comfort and inspiration to see Kelli, a mother with such strength hold her sweet little girl close to her and whisper into her baby's ear as they placed a single rose before laying their beloved husband and father to rest. It was a beautiful gravesite ceremony. And after a few moments, we left the cemetery so that their family could spend some time alone.
A few pictures of my Dad hugging two of his girls, my sister Jill and her daughter Whitney, after the beautiful gravesite dedication. I love these two pictures and the picture of me with my mom, my sisters (we missed you Kristin & Jordan, but know that it was such a long day for little Charly) and my niece Whitney. (Dad requested that we remove our sunglasses for pictures, and normally we do. But today the sunglasses stayed on to hide red tear-stained eyes.)
A very special thank you to the Wright family for such wonderful messages yesterday. Each one left us feeling the Spirit and wanting to make a renewed effort to live as Dave lived and follow in the footsteps of our Savior. Our thoughts and prayers remain with the Wrights and with the countless others whose lives Dave touched. And to end, a simple testimony that I know that this is not the end. I know that if we live worthy, that we will see each other again. We will live together as families for time and all eternity and will be able to live in the presence of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
If you would like to learn more about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and eternal families, you can contact missionaries in your area, by clicking on THIS LINK or feel free to contact me directly and I would be more than happy to share my knowledge of the Gospel with you and help you get into contact with missionaries in your area.
Oh, Heather! You are so thoughtful to make the plaques for the family. That is sooo your way of ministering, and I love that! I am not LDS, so the scriptures are not familiar, but your whole post left me teary to read the story.
Bless you for your ministry, and bless the family as they journey on without their loved one.
Posted by: Laura VanHoorn | June 17, 2008 at 04:40 PM
What a very touching tribute to the Wright family. I had tears flowing as I read this post. I, too, am so grateful of the knowledge that families can be together forever. Thank you for sharing these sweet tender thoughts. I know I feel uplifted and want to improve my own life. I love the scripture she shared. I'm going to make sure that one is marked in my scriptures so I can turn to it when I need that reminder.
By the way, your plaques are beautiful! What a sweet person you are to make those for the family. I know I would have been honored to receive one.
Posted by: Diana | June 17, 2008 at 04:48 PM
Oh my what a wonderful post Heather. Thank you for sharing those quotes and feelings.
Experiences like these truly put a proper perspective on life.
You, your family and Dave's family are in my prayers.
Posted by: Marcy | June 17, 2008 at 05:04 PM
Wow, What a week for you. Thanks for sharing. As I read your post I felt so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We are so blessed to have the knowledge of families being together for ever. You are wonderful and so caring and there is a special place for you in the here after for all the good that you share with so many. What a wonderful example you are.
Posted by: Dawn | June 17, 2008 at 05:13 PM
Heather, THANK-You for sharing this with us. My heart aches for all of you. We never know what life can bring. We do know that we can be together forever, and that brings such peace. It doesn't take away the sadness, but it brings comfort.
The other night we were visiting a family in our ward. They were so fun to get to know. Anyways after we left the husband went on his motorcyle. He is now on life support fighting for his life. It has been a complete shock to us. We were just talking and laughing with them an hour before it happened. We never know when the Lord is going to need us. That quote by Pres. Monson is much needed for us these past two day's. Thanks Heather. Those plaques are great. Again thanks for the reminders.
Posted by: Kristyn | June 17, 2008 at 05:18 PM
I love those plaques. What an amazing, thoughtful gift.
You've been on my mind all weekend. Thanks for sharing your week with us...if only to remind us how life is fragile and to love our families.
Posted by: amber m. | June 17, 2008 at 05:55 PM
Thank you thank you thank you Heather for sharing the funeral for Dave with us. I was so frustrated that I could not be there and I have been checking your blog a couple times a day because I knew that you would share with us and that you would share a lot so we could feel like we were there. Thank you. I have also been meaning to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of Dave and that I have been thinking especially about your sister and Derrick and the whole Wright family. I never met Dave's wife, but I have shed a few tears this week just thinking of her and what she is going through. Again, thanks for sharing and I miss you tons!
Susannah
P.S.
Thanks for being so kind to my sister, she enjoys your friendship.
Posted by: Susannah Harris | June 17, 2008 at 07:15 PM
Heather, that was the most beautiful tribute. I sobbed as I read it. I felt like i was at the funeral. Thank you for sharing that it made a difference in my life.
Posted by: Brooke Kynaston | June 17, 2008 at 08:19 PM
Thank you for going into detail about the funeral services. I have been torn up about this too, I think anyone you meet in life affects you in more ways than you know! Thank you for having pictures, and sharing the great words. I have been sick thinking about Kelli and I am so glad that she is holding up strong, I don't think I could! God Bless!!
Posted by: Ashley Owen | June 17, 2008 at 09:26 PM
Heath,
Thank you so much for that post... As I type this, tears are flowing freely and I have not been able to quit thinking about this tragedy. I am so heart sick for Kelli and their whole family... Kelli is an example to us all and I will continue to keep her in my prayers.
Thank you for all of the amazing quotes and, as Susannah said, making us feel like we were there. You are so sweet and kind to make those beautiful gifts for their family and I can only imagine how much that must have meant to them at such a trying time. Thank you for being you... Love ya.
Jodi
Posted by: Jodi | June 17, 2008 at 10:42 PM
Heather.....I am struggling to find the words. The right words. I just LOVE the things you did for the family all involved. That is SO you. You are a sweetheart right down to the core. For you to let the tears freely flow, shows me how truly REAL you are. I was SO touched that you would write down bits and pieces from the talks and share them with us all..I am SO uplifted and motivated to be better.. To do better...and to think like I should.
I too am grateful for the knowledge that I have. Thanks for sharing your testimony whenever you can. That is awesome. And as we have been told....it is recorded in heaven.
Posted by: Lynn C. | June 17, 2008 at 11:08 PM
Thanks for sharing something so special. I love to read your testimony. I'm so grateful for the knowlege that families are forever.
I just wanted to share "vinyl" quote I read on the wall of my MIL's friend's home. I want to put it in our home, too. I loved it, and thought of the good you could do with it.
"Because someone we love is in
Heaven, we feel Heaven in our
Home."
Posted by: Bonnieb | June 18, 2008 at 12:13 AM
Thanks for sharing, thanks for your Testimony,
thanks for being you!
Posted by: Tracy | June 18, 2008 at 07:04 AM
Wow Heather... tears are just flowing freely after reading your post. I *love* that vinyl quote as well... it's also one of my most favorite songs as well, and carries such a deep meaning for me (and all of us!). I can't even fathom what a young mother is going through, but my heart just breaks at the thought of it all. ((HUGS)) You have a magnificent gift through words expressing everything. :)
Posted by: Amy N. | June 18, 2008 at 07:17 AM
I love that scripture that Kelli quoted from D&C 78 also. I found that scripture a week before my brother died of cancer. At that time, we thought he was recovering well. I called him and read the scripture to him over the phone. Since then I have read and reread it many times.
Posted by: Melanie in WY | June 18, 2008 at 07:43 AM
What an amazingly touching post. I can't find the words. Your photos, your gifts, your words just make me feel as though I was there (which, since this is your journal) will be so meaningful to all those in the future you might read it. Those photos of his wife and daughter brought me to tears. What a reminder to appreciate those I love TODAY and to also be reminded of the joy of eternal families. You are truly a blessing to your family, friends, and everyone who feels your influence through this blog. Thanks for taking the time to share!
Posted by: Bobbi-Jo Grunewald | June 18, 2008 at 09:01 AM
You have a way of bringing us into a situation and writing in such a way to make us feel and think so deeply. I can't stop crying. What a tribute the there family, to families, to Kelli and to the knowledge of having the gospel in our lives and knowing we will be together forever someday. I love that song and love the plaque. What a thoughtful wonderful idea and how blessed you will be for bringing that glimmer of peace to the wright family in such a sad time. You are a blessing to so many. Thanks for bringing the words from the funeral what great scriptures and quotes. You are the best love ya! Thanks for your example and testimony.
Posted by: Christal | June 18, 2008 at 09:33 AM
Heather,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. When my brother passed away a few years ago someone gave this poem to us. Maybe you've heard it. If not please enjoy.
The Dash © 1998
by Linda Ellis
I read of a reverend who stood to speak
at the funeral of his friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard…
are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at "dash mid-range.")
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile…
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy’s being read
with your life’s actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?
Posted by: aleshia | June 18, 2008 at 09:47 AM
Heather
Thank you so much for your inspiration. You always know the exact words to say.It was a beautiful tribute to the family. I truely felt the spirit through your words. You are such an amazing example. You and your family are in my prayers. We are so blessed to know that "We WILL be together forever someday" Can you imagine not having that knowledge in our lives. THanks for being YOU.
Posted by: Beckie Reisen | June 18, 2008 at 10:27 AM
I too and crying for the loss of a loving husband and father. I don't know how one would cope without the knowledge of Eternal families. Thanks for your kind words, and for sharing them with those reading them.
The gift you made for the family was perfect, and one they will cherish always I am sure.
((hugs))
Posted by: Jane | June 18, 2008 at 10:54 AM
Heather,
I am a friend of Robyn Jacob and she directed me to your blog. I hope you don't mind my posting a comment to you. I knew Dave slightly from elementary school up through high school, so I was shocked to hear of his passing. Thank you so much for posting the pictures and quotes from the funeral. I was unable to go, but my thoughts were with his wife, daughter and family all day. I wish I had been able to go. It sounds like it was awesome. Thanks again.
Posted by: Alicia Westra | June 18, 2008 at 12:02 PM
Wow Heather! I don't think anyone could read that post without shedding a tear and feeling the spirit. Thank you for sharing the messages from the funeral. They touched my heart and reminded me of my friend who lost her husband recently. I saw her today and wanted to do something nice for her for her birthday next month. I love the plaques you made and wonder whether I could make something similar...... they would be perfect. The scripture that Kelli read at the funeral is beautiful and I'll be sure to mark that in my scriptures. It's very poignant at a time like now. You are awesome that even through your own grief and sadness you are able to share these things to your blog readers - some of us you don't even know IRL. Although I feel I know you! May the Lord's tender mercies be on all of you who have been touched by this tragedy. xx
Posted by: Joanne | June 18, 2008 at 12:39 PM
Heather I am so sorry....I didn't know that you were this close to them. I remember talking about it at bunco and you didn't say anything about it. I really ache for the family, but it looks like the funeral was very amazing and some wonderful talks were given. I will always love the talk by Elder Bednar, the Tender Mercies. I read that shortly after having Bode and it meant so much to me. The gifts you made them are amazing and I am sure that they meant the world to them. I hope you are doing okay...love ya!
Posted by: Natalie | June 18, 2008 at 04:27 PM
I can't help by cry while reading this. His funeral service was beautiful and I'm so glad you shared it. I know his family will be so appreciative of it later when they get a chance to read it. (((hugs to you and all his loved ones)))
Posted by: Jolene George | June 19, 2008 at 09:03 AM
Thanks for sharing this with your blog readers. We've experienced a tragic loss this week too, so your words really touched me. There was a man in Orem murderd by his son on father's day. They are part of my extended family.
Compassion from others is really one of the hugest things that helps heal grieving hearts. I'm so glad you notice that and that you show such love to others, especially this sweet family.
Hugs,
Aubri
Posted by: aubri | June 19, 2008 at 03:27 PM