This past Monday, just one week after Dave's funeral, we attended the funeral of my mom's dear friend, Kuni. We attended the viewing prior to the funeral on Monday afternoon and Kuni looked absolutely beautiful. It was such a comfort to see her looking so at peace after seeing her suffer from illness for so long. Her casket was decorated with lavendar flowers and the casket itself was a beautiful shade of deep lavendar. Lavendar was Kuni's very favorite color. During the funeral, my Mom shared with the congregation that Kuni's husband had prepared a lobster dinner for her the night before she passed away (her favorite meal) and had purchased beautiful lavendar satin sheets for her to sleep in. When she passed away, she was sleeping on those beautiful lavendar sheets. His thoughtfulness and tender care in her last moments so touching.
This funeral was very unique in many ways. About 5 years ago, Kuni had prepared a professional video with the help of one of her girlfriends, in which she shared photos and told about her life, her family, her friends and her love of the Gospel and joy she found working in the temple for so many years. At the end of the video, she shared her testimony and then pleaded with her husband and her son (who are both currently inactive members) to embrace the Gospel. She tells them that if they want to feel of her spirit, that they should go to church and to the temple and she will always be there. It was the most beautiful video. After she prepared the video 5 years ago, she sealed it in an envelope, only to be shared at her funeral. The life she led and the message and testimony she shared, was a strength to all who were able to watch it. What a great blessing to us and to her husband and son, that she felt prompted by the Spirit to prepare such a touching video, not knowing when the time would come for her to return to her Heavenly Father.
Kuni's son Travis read her lifesketch and then the rest of the program was filled with talks by 5 of Kuni's dearest girlfriends, including my mom. These ladies, including Kuni, called themselves "The Lunch Bunch." So cute. Each of the ladies shared special memories of Kuni and spoke about her great example of a life of service and faith. I was so touched by all of their talks, that I wanted to share a few things that really stood out to me.....
"She who pushes you closer to God, she is your friend."
*******
THE MAKING OF FRIENDS
If nobody smiled and nobody cheered and nobody helped us along,
If each, every minute, looked after himself and good things all went to the strong,
If nobody cared just a little for you, and nobody thought about me,
And we all stood alone in the battle of life,
What a dreary old life this would be!
Life is sweet because of the friends we have made
And the things which in common we share;
We want to live on, not because of ourselves,
But because of the people who care.
It's giving and doing for somebody else --
On that, all life's splendor depends,
And the joy of this world , when you've summed it all up,
Is found in the making of friends.
-Edgar A. Guest-
*******
In between the five speakers, my sisters and I (and my little niece McKaylee) sang "When He Comes Again." We practiced once before the service and had such a difficult time making through the song. I had my arm around my sister Jill and as I stood there standing next to her and knowing how difficult it must be to be singing at a funeral just days after Dave's funeral, I was unable to even sing the last lines of the second verse. However, when it came time for us to sing, we were able to sing through the entire song and my mom said afterward that she has never heard us sound more beautiful. I have no doubts that we must have had a few angels singing with us to help us get through the beautiful lyrics. My mom spoke right after us and her talk was so wonderful and filled with such sweet memories of Kuni and details of her last moments before she passed away. After she spoke, Kuni's friend Diane was the last of the speakers. Here are a few things that really stuck out to me from Diane's talk....
"Kuni taught me the importance of quiet patience in the face of very deep suffering."
"For those who knew Kuni, you know that she always liked to have the last word whenever possible. And so now, if I may, I would like to share what I believe would have been Kuni's last word and advice to us all...
1. Fervently study the scriptures;
2. Attend the temple regularly;
3. Find joy in the "tiny beauties" of life;
4. Trust in the Lord, even when times are difficult;
5. Love your family unconditionally; and
6. Be a friend to everyone."
At the close of the funeral, Kuni's bishop shared some closing remarks. He and my Dad had given Kuni a blessing the night that she discontinued her dialysis. The specialists had told Kuni that it would be about 2 weeks before she would pass away. In the blessing, Kuni was promised that her time of passing would be short and that she would feel peace and no further suffering. She was also told that as she returned to her Heavenly Father, she would be greeted with the word "Well done, thou good and faithful servant...". She was also promised that there would be many great reunions with loved ones and with those whose temple work she had completed, but that there would be much for her to do there as well. It was so neat that he shared a few of those precious promises from that blessing. And Kuni passed away only 3 days afterwards.
It was such a beautiful service and felt like the entire room was filled with our family. Kuni lived in the ward that I grew up in, so we knew everyone there. The room was filled with my friends, my former youth leaders and primary teachers, bishops, stake presidents, etc. The Spirit was so strong and there was such a wonderful feeling of peace. All of the pallbearers were former members of the ward, including my dad (all were the husbands of Kuni's dearest friends). At the end of gravesite service, each of the pallbearers removed their bouttenieres and placed them on the casket. Then, afterwards, they each removed their bouttenieres and gave them to their wives. It was so sweet. After the service, I was able to take a few pictures of the beautiful floral arrangement from 'The Lunch Bunch' (they had put a picture of them with Kuni in the flower bouquet) and a few of Kuni's son Travis in his uniform. He looked so sharp. I have already planned to have this framed for Kuni's husband. And then, I took a few pictures of Kuni's dear friends...."The Lunch Bunch."
Dear Kuni, Thank you for your testimony and your constant example of service and love for others. We love you so much and will miss you.
In addition to these wonderful thoughts shared at Kuni's funeral, I was excited to receive my brother-in-law's talk outline from Dave's funeral. I wish that I had his talk on tape to share with you. This is an outline and will give a wonderful idea of the message that he shared. However, many of the points are merely his "prompts" and don't have the detail and message he shared through the Spirit on each of those points. I wish that you could have been there to feel the Spirit and his strength and conviction as he gave his talk. Still, I am so pleased to be able to at least share these wonderful notes with you.
David R. Wright
Talk Given By Derek Wright
I. Introduction
a. Thank everyone on behalf of both families
b. Even with a firm knowledge of the life hereafter and the plan of salvation, the aguish of grief can be surprisingly intense.
c. Mosiah 18:9 “mourn with those that mourn” and “comfort those that stand in need of comfort.”
d. Elder Bednar stated: “We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord’s tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance (see 1 Ne. 1:20).”
e. Our families have been recipients of many “tender mercies”
f. Nothing has mattered the last four days in our homes except the understanding of basic gospel principles such as:
i. Life doesn’t begin with birth, nor does it end with death
ii. The Atonement
iii. Elder Bruce C. Hafen wrote: “Our understanding of the Atonement is hardly a shield against sorrow; rather, it is a rich source of strength to deal productively with the disappointments and heartbreaks that form the deliberate fabric of mortal life. The gospel was given to us to heal our pain, not to prevent it.”
II. Message……..”David loved life”
a. HF plan doesn’t often match what we have planned
i. David accomplished much
1. Baptized
2. Aaronic Priesthood member
3. He excelled in school w/ straight A’s
B. Pestered his teachers
4. He was an Eagle Scout
5. He worked hard cutting grass and carried on a successful business we started at a young age
6. He kept himself worthy to serve an honorable mission
B. We walked the streets of Santiago together
7. He developed an eternal relationship with his dear wife by marrying in the temple
8. He fathered a beautiful daughter
9. He gave his all as a business owner
10. He served in the church diligently
11. He was an honorable husband, father, son, brother, uncle, cousin and friend
b. WHY NOW???????????
i. President Monson: “My brothers and sisters, death eventually comes to all mankind. It comes to the aged as they walk on faltering feet. Its summons is heard by those who have scarcely reached midway in life’s journey, and often it hushes the laughter of little children. Death is one fact that no one can escape or deny.
Frequently death comes as an intruder. It is an enemy that suddenly appears in the midst of life’s feast, putting out its lights and gaiety. Death lays its heavy hand upon those dear to us and at times leaves us baffled and wondering. In certain situations, as in great suffering and illness, death comes as an angel of mercy. But for the most part, we think of it as the enemy of human happiness.
The darkness of death can ever be dispelled by the light of revealed truth. “I am the resurrection, and the life,” spoke the Master. “He that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.”
This reassurance—yes, even holy confirmation—of life beyond the grave could well provide the peace promised by the Savior when He assured His disciples: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
c. D&C 101:14-16 “all flesh is in my hands”
d. Prophet Joseph Smith we also learn that “God has … a time … appointed … when He will bring all His subjects, who have obeyed His voice and kept His commandments, into His celestial rest.
III. Conclusion
a. May we love life and not fear death…………….
b. Hopefully Dave’s passing will provoke profound changes in our lives, Dave would want nothing more.
c. President Monson: “How fragile life, how certain death. We do not know when we will be required to leave this mortal existence. And so I ask, “What are we doing with today?” If we live only for tomorrow, we’ll have a lot of empty yesterdays today. Have we been guilty of declaring, “I’ve been thinking about making some course corrections in my life. I plan to take the first step—tomorrow”? With such thinking, tomorrow is forever. Such tomorrows rarely come unless we do something about them today.
d. In D&C 84 it talks about the “elect of God”
e. Closing Poem: “Touching Shoulders”
i. There’s a comforting thought at the close of the day,
when I’m weary and lonely and sad.
That sort of grips hold of my crusty old heart
And bids it be merry and glad.
It gets in my soul and it drives out the blues.
And finally thrills through and through.
It is just a sweet memory that chants the refrain:
“I’m glad I touch shoulders with you!”
Did you know you were brave, did you know you were strong?
Did you know there was one leaning hard?
Did you know that I waited and listened and prayed,
And was cheered by your simplest word?
Did you know that I longed for that smile on your face,
For the sound of your voice ringing true?
Did you know I grew stronger and better because
“I had merely touched shoulders with you?”
I am glad that I live, that I battle and strive
For the place that I know I must fill;
I am thankful for sorrows, I’ll meet with a grin
What fortune may send, good or ill.
I may not have wealth, I may not be great,
But I know I shall always be true,
For I have in my life that courage you gave
“When once I rubbed shoulders with you.”
You certainly have had one emotional week! Thank you for sharing your thoughts & what you loved about the services. I could feel the spirit just reading your post. I hope the rest of your summer is uneventful, in a good way! Hugs to you & your family at this time!
Posted by: Raimi | June 26, 2008 at 04:24 PM
I've been sitting here for a half hour now in the quiet. The clock is ticking and the wind is blowing outside. It's been wonderful to reflect on so many things that this post of yours has conjured up in my mind. I thank you Heather for sharing. This was a wonderful post. You are a wonderful woman.
Posted by: Lynn C. | June 26, 2008 at 06:30 PM
Thank you for posting this beautiful tribute to our dear Kuni. Oh, how I adored her and the funeral was amazing! And you girls REALLY did sound like angels. I've learned so much from Kuni and you!
And thanks for Derek's notes as well. A couple of the quotes you shared will be store in my heart and shared with friends who need them right now.
Have a blessed day!
Posted by: Amazed | June 27, 2008 at 10:33 AM