On February 14th, Jeff and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary. However, since Jeff was out of town that day, we decided to celebrate that upcoming weekend with a trip to St. George and Las Vegas. We both had to work on Friday, so we didn't end up getting on our way until later in the evening. On our way out, and since we weren't in a rush to get there, we decided to stop and grab a bite to eat. I love that no matter what day it is, we can suggest sushi or Zupas and BOTH always sound good. LOL! This particular night, Jeff suggested Zupas. Our first official date was Zupas and miniature golf. Ever since then, Zupas (and Blue Fish for sushi) have become "our places." I've never taken my camera with me, but had to document it this time around with my pathetic cell phone cam. It's funny.....whenever we hit sushi, we always try something new. But when it comes to Zupas.....we ALWAYS get "the regular." We are such regulars, that we actually know their "Abbreviated Codes" for the sandwiches we order. LOL! We never get tired of the looks on their faces when we get to the front of the line and they ask what sandwich Jeff would like, and he pops out with "T.B.A. No Tom" (which is Turkey, Bacon, Avocado...No Tomato). LOL! As for me, I always run with the "UL-T" (Ultimate Grilled Cheese). It's so funny. As with our "regular" sandwiches, we also always end up with our "regular" soups....me with my Creamy Tomato Basil and Jeff with his Lobster Bisque. However, Jeff has his own little ritual when it comes to the Lobster Bisque...and I finally had to catch a picture of it.
BEFORE he actually decides on the Lobster Bisque, he has to taste something else. Always. LOL! "Can I try the Cream of Cauliflower? Hmm...okay, I'll have the Lobster Bisque." "Can I try the Chicken Tortilla? Hmm...okay, I'll have the Lobster Bisque." LOL! This time around, as he was sampling the Cream of Cauliflower, he turned to me and said, "What do you think? Should I get the Lobster Bisque?" LOL! I just about wet my pants. Oh my soul....I love this man. :-) We LOVE our Zupas. EVERY DAY is a good day for it..and it ALWAYS sounds good to us. I love that.
Our drive to St. George was amazing...talking, listening to Conference Talks, reading to each other, etc. Pure Heaven. We arrived really late...happy, and exhausted. The next morning, we had a beautiful slow start, enjoyed a quick breakfast at Jack-in-the-Box and started our drive to Vegas. On our way down, we pulled off the freeway and decided to do a little herping. I am so intrigued by Jeff's passion for reptiles and amphibians. I have been so anxious to get out and go herping with him......to watch him "in action." I surprised even myself by the excitement I felt in my heart out in the desert that day....literally HOPING we would see something!! I think it surprised Jeff that I was not only "okay" with pulling over.....but actually encouraged it. He mentioned that he really wanted to hike out to a huge pile of rocks about
a mile away, but said we didn't have to, since I was in flip flops. I think he probably also assumed that I might be bored by it..since a lot of herping is WATCHING for movement...and often, not seeing anything. But I admit....my heart was racing, as I mentioned already, HOPING we would see movement SOMEWHERE. Contrary to what I think even Jeff expected, I was ALL OVER hiking out to the rocks. There are many reasons for this actually. I truly AM so interested in this passion of his. I love it. I love the way his eyes light up when he talks about it. I love how intelligible he is..and how much he teaches me about reptiles and their habitats. This man...knows....everything. He even pointed out and named many of the plants and what reptiles and amphibians depended on them as their main source of nourishment..particularly the creosole bushes that are eaten by tortoises. He explained that oftentimes, you can tell by the presence of these creosole bushes (native to the Nevada desert), that movies, apparently taking place in Saudi Arabia or other foreign countries, were, in fact, filmed in Nevada. Cheaters. LOL! But in addition to truly being interested in his hobby, when it comes down to it, I am so utterly and completely content doing anything or NOTHING....as long as I have Jeff by my side to talk to. It doesn't matter WHERE we are, as long as we are together. Whether we are sitting in the car talking, snuggling in the Lovesac talking...or hiking 2 miles to look for lizards, talking....my heart is content.
There's something so sexy about Jeff's passion for herpetology. He loves reptiles like Steve Irwin did. Do you remember him? Of course you do. EVERYONE knew "The Crocodile Hunter." Steve almost had a reverence for reptiles. Jeff is the same. He loves them, is intrigued by them and is completely fearless in his pursuit of them. I'm not sure that I would so easily stick my fingers down burrows and dig out rodant holes without a second thought, like he does. I'd be afraid there'd be something inside that would bite my fingers off. And that is exactly what Jeff HOPES will happen. LOL! We did end up seeing a lizard that we attempted to catch. But other than that, our first "unofficial herp outing" was rather fruitless. :-) Jeff mentioned that it was still a little cool for herping and not ideal conditions. I can't wait to accompany him "when the getting is good." I am both terrified....and EXCITED!!!!
After we got back on the road, we headed to Henderson, NV for a little detour to visit the ETHEL M. MARS CHOCOLATE FACTORY. Unfortunately, the factory wasn't up and running on a Saturday. Still, we were able to read a little bit about the factory and the history of chocolate. Yummm. It was also a perfect opportunity to pick up a little
souvenir at the M&M shop for my babies. Jeff was so sweet to purchase these awesome tall M&M CUPS (the bases blink when you pick them up to take a drink) for Kaden and Seneca. As you can see in this picture taken obviously AFTER we got home, they were BOTH thrilled to DEATH to receive their fun prize...and have been drinking out of them all day, every day since then.
It seemed like we had done so much driving on Saturday, before we ever got to Vegas. But like I said....it doesn't matter where we are. We had such a nice drive together. I took this picture below just as we were driving onto The Vegas Strip. We got to Vegas around 2:30 PM.
Jeff was such a sweetheart to humor me and stop at the WELCOME TO VEGAS sign for a brief picture. As it is with many, Jeff isn't a superfan of getting his picture taken....but he KNOWS how important it is for me and that the reason that I take pictures is so that the memories we make together will last forever. Still...that being said, I don't push it. LOL! I have learned to take fewer shots..and take them faster. I've also gotten less picky about getting "the perfect shot." You can tell that by some of the shots I have already posted above.....many are blurry, eyes closed, etc. In the end, it doesn't matter if you get a "perfect picture" as long as you get A picture. :-)
Vegas was....interesting. When I went to Vegas about 3 or 4 years ago, it felt exciting and the energy was so intense. This time around, it was different. But I don't think Vegas had changed. I have changed....quite a bit actually. Vegas IS an amazing city filled with so much talent. But as for the energy....it was very unsettling for me....for both of us. We felt like we stuck out like a sore thumb. :-) Those of you that read my blog on a regular basis KNOW me well enough to know that I am not in the least bit a judgmental or self-righteous person. With that understanding, I can't help but share what both Jeff and I felt as we walked hand-in-hand down the Vegas Strip. We are both very analytical people and so naturally think in the manner of metaphors, symbolism, etc. We couldn't help but see the similarities between Vegas and temptation (at its finest). On the outside, temptation is always attractive (just as each of the casinos is so ridiculously beautiful on the outside). Tempation, on the surface, is light and appears harmless. As it was with the casinos, temptation lures you with this beauty. Directly inside of the doors, it is still light. But very quickly, as you approach the center of the casino, it becomes steadily more dark and the thick, smokey air is almost suffocating. But the similarities don't end there. Jeff and I found it interesting that after trying again and again to find the exit of the casino, we started to feel frustrated and even eperience the slightest bit of anxiety...not knowing how we could "escape." It was like a maze, trying to find our way out. Almost identical to the casino, temptation starts out so harmless. It doesn't take a dive into darkness of night immediately. There is a gradual decline......so gradual sometimes, that you don't even notice it, until it's too late and you can't find your way out. When you find yourself in the "core" of temptation, it is often "suffocating." I can't tell you the relief I felt when, after walking and walking around in circles in one of the casinos, Jeff and I finally saw the slightest glimpse of daylight. We couldn't get to the doors fast enough.
Despite our experience in the first casino and our in-depth conversation about its similarities to temptation, we continued walking the strip for a little while. Vegas is an interesting place to observe people. In one casino, we saw a bar, appropriately called "NUMB." Both Jeff and I agreed that if we were asked to describe Vegas in one word, that would be it. Numb. Where Jeff and I function at such a high vibration on a daily basis....the energy in Vegas seemed so heavy and low....so....numb. It appeared to be a place where people believe that if they can simply escape life's challenges and become NUMB, for even just a few hours, then they can make it through another day. I didn't feel the slightest bit of judgment for anyone there that day. It was quite the opposite. I felt sadness. As corny as this sounds, there was part of me that wished I could hold every single one of them and show them a way to find peace WITHOUT simply numbing the pain temporarily. We continued walking, all the while, discussing this very "unique" trip to Vegas.
When we arrived at Caesar's Palace, we decided to go inside. Originally, we had discussed possibly visiting the Aquarium at Mandalay Bay. However, upon discovering that it was $18 per person, we decided against it. I love that we value our time together and don't find it necessary to spend a lot of money in order to have a wonderful time together. In fact, we had as much fun looking at the FREE "aquarium" inside of Caesar's Palace, as we would have at Mandalay Bay....and we saved ourselves $36. :-) Love that. We ended up watching a program thingey about The Lost City of Atlantis and then continued to walk around. Jeff made an interesting observation about the architecture and atmosphere of Caesar's Palace.....and how it very much resembled how he had imagined "The Great and Spacious Building" would appear. That completely resonated with me. I'm not sure why, but I too had always pictured "The Great and Spacious Building" as a big, white building with white pillars.....very "Greek" in architectural style. Filled with alcohol, gambling, drugs, obnoxious laughter and greed, it even FELT how I imagined The Great and Spacious Building would feel. I hope that through all of this, you know me well enough to know that none of this is said in judgment. This was merely our observation. But even if you do misjudge my intentions, it doesn't really matter. This is my blog, and a place where I very openly share my very sincere thoughts and feelings. I don't write for anyone's approval...merely to document what is important to me. :-)
An interesting sidenote: I was just searching online for a link to attach to the words "The Great and Spacious Building" above, as a reference for my readers. I "happened" upon a talk that was given by Bishop Glenn L. Pace from the Priesthood Session of Conference in October of 1987. Too often, I have been "guided" to inspirational passages, songs, etc., that I couldn't help but pause from my writing....to read. Truly inspired. I couldn't have found a more appropriate talk if I tried. I would love to share a little bit of it with you......
"Even though you have a testimony and want to do what is right, it is difficult not to be drawn to the great and spacious building. From all appearances, the people in the building seem to be having a great time. The music and laughter are deafening. You would say to me what my children have said, “They’re not really happy, huh, Dad?” as you watch them party.
They look happy and free, but don’t mistake telestial pleasure for celestial happiness and joy. Don’t mistake lack of self-control for freedom. Complete freedom without appropriate restraint makes us slaves to our appetites. Don’t envy a lesser and lower life.
Compare the joy of intelligent humor and wit to drunken, silly, crude, loud laughter......Compare lifting people up to putting people down.
We love you, the youth of the Church, and we know you will collectively succeed. However, we have great anxiety for individuals we may lose along the way. Speaking as a father, I can tell you the loss of one of you is too many. We want each and every one of you to succeed, not just the majority.
To those of you who are struggling and losing ground, you who have been lured into that building through one of its many doors and now find no doors going out, you who feel trapped and defeated, we assure you there is hope, and all is not lost. Through his atonement, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has provided a way for you to escape that awful place. He knows you intimately. He knows your name, and he knows your pain. If you will approach your Father in Heaven with a broken heart and contrite spirit, you will find yourself miraculously lifted out of that great and spacious building and into the loving and comforting arms of the Savior of mankind.
At your earthly home, you will find your father’s arms have always been open for you and that during your absence your mother never stopped setting your place at the table in front of your empty chair. You will see clearly the difference between telestial happiness and celestial happiness, and you will experience and savor celestial joy through this life and throughout all eternity."
Goodness. I am half-tempted to go back and completely erase what I had written prior...and just fill in with Bishop Pace's words. PERFECTLY, PERFECTLY describes how we felt. Wow. God is so amazingly good, isn't He?! Here I sit trying to put my feelings into words and He immediately guides me to THE PERFECT words. Awesome.
Anyway. After walking through Caesar's Palace, Jeff sat down at a slot machine to rest his feet. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he asked if I was tired. Truthfully, I had been "ready to go" soon after we arrived. However, I didn't want to make Jeff feel bad that we had driven the extra distance from St. George JUST to turn around a few hours later to head back. Jeff and I are so completely uncensored...and I didn't have to wait long at all to share how I felt, because he immediately told me that he was feeling the exact same way I was. Only an hour and a half after arriving in Las Vegas, we were ready to go "home." Vegas just isn't who we are. The past few years, I have changed. I have made mistakes and learned so much from them. I have become closer to God and closer to my Savior Jesus Christ than I have ever been in my life. On a daily basis, the energy that I feel is such high vibrating energy.......and anything below that energy is draining and heavy. And Jeff...bless his amazingly good heart....he is made of that same high vibrating brilliance. Sometimes, when we are together, it feels almost as if we just might sponateously combust!!! Yet, as we walked through the casinos and along the strip, even our PHYSICAL energy was heavier. It was SO interesting to observe how our OWN vibrant energy was drained from us in that atmosphere. I was so relieved when Jeff said he was ready to go. I almost felt my energy lift immediately at the thought.
While still sitting at the slot machine with my arms around him, Jeff turned to face me and said, "How about this....let's head back to St. George, go out for sushi and then pop some popcorn, snuggle up and watch a foreign film." NOTHING sounded more perfect to me. So amazing how just the mere PROSPECT of our new plans completely recharged our "batteries." On our way OUT of the casino and back to the car, our feet were exhausted, but there was a new spring in our step. We could't wait to go "home." Goodness...I could go all SORTS of directions with THAT analogy. But I won't. I'm tired and I think I've gone deep enough for one day. LOL! Needless to say, our trip was short (we spent twice the amount of time driving TO Vegas, than we actually spent IN Vegas. LOL!)....but so enlightening. I think I have enough "material" from that trip to Vegas to last me a LIFETIME of Sacrament Meeting talks. LOL! Funny...the picture below is us again, 1 1/2 hours later, LEAVING Vegas. Almost the exact picture we took above. :-)
Annnnnyway....once we got back to St. George, we headed straight to Benja Thai & Sushi for an amazing "Happy 6 Month Anniversary to Us" dinner. I've noticed that Jeff and I tend to always "Celebrate With Sushi." LOL! LOVE IT! Oh WOW...if you are ever in St. George, we STRONGLY recommend making time to eat at Benja. The sushi was exceptional. These are our first 3 rolls of 8 or 10....I can't even remember how many we ate...but they were divine!
After dinner, we headed "home" and I brought out a little anniversary gift I had made for Jeff....a card and a digital book I had designed with all of our pictures from the last 6 months. I also included a few of "our songs," and other quotes and songs that simply describe us better than I ever could.
Here are a few of the page spreads from the book....
Right before we sat down to look at the book together, I received one of the most thoughtful text messages from my sweet Kaden. The first time Kaden texted me from his Dad's house a month or so ago, it shocked the crud out of me. Apparently, he received an iTouch for Christmas. I don't personally approve of it, but I also realize that in my "new normal," it's something that I get to choose to accept. And surprisingly, with God behind me, it has been surprisingly smooth. It's interesting getting used to two households, two different sets of rules, etc. But just because I don't approve, doesn't necessarily mean that it's "wrong." I've taught my children that we have a set of rules here at our home that we abide by. I've also explained that Daddy has a few different rules, but "different" doesn't at all mean "wrong," and it's very important that they follow his rules at his house. And though our parenting does seem to be different in some ways, the kids behave very well for both of us and things run very smoothly. But I must admit, it was really suprising (and gave me a bit of a stomach ache, if I am completely honest) to know that Kaden had access to the internet and the ability to text. Still, I recognize that that is not something that I can control, and have instead, chosen to really enjoy being able to receive texts from my son when he's with his Dad. :-) And this particular text just about made my heart burst. Kaden has ALWAYS been an angel baby.....since the very moment he was born. There's just SOMETHING about him. He is, and always has been, so thoughtful. When I received this text, my heart was so full and my eyes immediately filled with tears. Moments like these are so rewarding for a Mama.....beautiful validation that we are doing a good job.
That angel of a boy took the lullaby that I have sung to him every night since he was a baby (and still sing to him every night), swapped out his name for mine and a few other appropriate changes......and my sweet Kaden "texted" his Mama a lullaby before going to bed. (NOTE: The word "thank" should be "since.") My heart is so full. Even now, my eyes are filled with tears, remembering this priceless text message from my 9 year old ANGEL baby. What 9 year old BOY texts his Mama a lullaby before bed?????!!! My cup runneth over.....
After sharing Kaden's text with Jeff (who was also so touched by Kaden's thoughtfulness) and looking through the "Book of Us," we snuggled up and watched a foreign film together. The entire day was perfection. From herping off the side of the road in Nevada, to time together in the car to and from Vegas, to a very enlightening few hours together IN Vegas, to our very perfect "US" night...with sushi, popcorn and a foreign film. I don't think I could have orchestrated a more perfect day together.
Sunday, we enjoyed a delicious homemade breakfast and prepared to go and visit some very dear friends. On the way down to St. George on Friday night, I texted one of my very best friends, Marisa (who moved to Arizona about 5 months ago), to "check-in" with her when we got to Mona (we have always checked in with each other when we go on long drives). She asked where we were headed and I texted back that we were headed to St. George for the weekend. My phone rang IMMEDIATELY and I was greeted with an enthusiastic "SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!" LOL! Oh how I love Marisa. Apparently, she and her babies were in St. George for the weekend as well! HAPPY DAAAAAY! I haven't seen her since she moved and have missed her SO MUCH!!!!!!
I recently told my mom that if something were ever to happen to me, that I would want my babies to be able to have quality time with Marisa on a regular basis. If my little ones ever needed a reminder of what their Mama's personality was like.....they would find ME in Marisa. She and I are so much alike, and we LOVE on our babies in the EXACT SAME WAY. If my little ones wanted to know the intensity of the love their Mama had for them, they could run to Marisa's arms.....and FEEL my love inside of them. I mean that with the greatest sincerity. I love Marisa so much. (I love her husband Travis too....oh my heart...she and Trav held me up during my divorce. I still need to blog about them. It would be an injustice for me NOT to record the great miracle they have been in my life. I WILL get to that. Stay tuned.)
And OHHH her babies. I love her babies like they were my own. Love these pics of me and Jeff with Marisa's little ones. Ooooh....OOOOOOH....I love them so much and have SO missed loving on them. It KILLED me that they seemed SO grown up in only 5 months. I can't tell you how much I dislike having them so far away from us. LOVE THEM! And Jeff..with all of those little ones all over him. LOL! Classic. Bless his cute heart.
And as for Marisa's family..her amazing, Godsend of a family. To simply say that I love them is SUCH an understatement. Mama and Papa Ruesch, Nat and Holly (Holly isn't in the pictures below, unfortunately) are very LITERALLY like family to me. I know that if I ever needed ANYTHING, they would be there for me. They loved on me so much during a very difficult time....and their prayers and love for me were (and still are) such tender mercies. We took LOTS of pics. I couldn't decide which ones to post, so we're POSTIN' 'EM ALL! Hit it! :-)
What an amazing tender mercy for things to have worked out as they did. What the chances that Reg (Marisa) would have been there WITH her babies the VERY SAME WEEKEND we were there?! God is so very good to me. I have missed her so much....and my heart has ached to see her again. So grateful for the few hours we had to visit and the opportunity that I had to introduce this wonderful "second family" of mine to the man that holds my heart. It's a wonder, with the love that I have for my angel babies, the intense love I have for Jeff, the love I feel so PASSIONATELY for angel friends like THESE and my unfailing love for God and my Savior Jesus Christ, that my heart doesn't utterly EXPLODE into OBLIVION!!! :-) *sigh* It takes my breath away. Awesome.
We spent a few hours chatting with the Ruesch family and then grabbed a bite to eat before getting on the road to head home. Before leaving, however, we decided to do a quick little photo shoot to commemorate our "6 Month Anniversary." Considering these are all "tripod/remote control" shots, we were both really pleased with how they turned out. :-) (The picture at the very top of this entry was definitely one of my favorites. And though Jeff usually seems more hesitant about "kissing" pictures, simply because he is more reserved, we BOTH agreed that the BLACK & WHITE one at the END of this entry is BREATHTAKING!!! Love it!)
Is there a word stronger than "love?" If there is...THAT is what I feel for Jeff. That is what I feel for us. I was just talking to Jeff last night and (as always) we had the MOST amazing conversation. I commented that although I absolutely have ROMANTIC love for him.....the love I feel is so far BEYOND that. It has SO MANY layers and dimensions. Our relationship, our connection, our passion for life.....it makes my soul vibrate!!!! I mentioned to Jeff that this HAS to be what "Celestial Love" feels like. I have never experienced this in my life....and I don't even have the words to describe it. It is almost "other-worldly." Does that even make sense?? I don't know. I'm at a loss. In addition, we are both so easy-going, content and steady. As far as our anniversary celebration, it truly did not matter what we did....as long as we were together. And since that is the honest truth.....we decided ahead of time that it was not at all necessary to spend a lot of money on this trip. Still, Jeff covered the expenses of the trip as his "6 month anniversary gift" to me. I can't think of a greater gift, than quality time with my best friend.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't get on my knees and thank my loving Heavenly Father for the noble man of God that He has sent to me. Our relationship, our connection, our love...is cause for serious celebration. Jeff himself, the relationship and connection we have....is nothing short of a miracle. Paired with the lives of my precious angel babies, our relationship is the only "gift" I ever need for the rest of my life. That being said, this thoughtful gift Jeff gave me....a weekend of quality time.....is one of the most priceless gifts I have ever received. How overwhelmingly blessed I am in so many ways and how grateful I am to my sweet Jeff for the gift of a most unforgettable anniversary.
Happy Happy Anniversary!
I'm getting the picture here that NOTHING is ever coincidental with you Heather! lol. That is awesome that your good friend was there that exact same weekend. So cool.
P.S. I LOVE LOVE your thoughts shared on Vegas and the temptation analogy. Totally understood it completely. And I've never been to Vegas. ; ) Well written.
Posted by: Lynn | February 25, 2012 at 06:14 PM
I'm so happy for you! What a wonderful man Jeff is. He complements you perfectly! Congratulations on your dating anniversary. :)
I've never visited Vegas and imagine I would feel like you. I'm very much affected by my environments and so I try to avoid places that would make me feel uncomfortable. I know Vegas has beautiful hotels, great cuisine and fun shopping. I know many other cities have all those perks without the gambling, illicit sex and alcohol. I'm not judgmental either, I just am not interested in spending a lot of time there.
Posted by: creole wisdom | February 25, 2012 at 10:26 PM
I live in Vegas, and I always forget what it must look like to a tourist. We never go to the strip and I always forget that we live here when people talk about "that" part of Vegas. It's a surreal feeling, because we just don't go there.
I really liked your analogy; totally why we avoid it!
I have to tell you what a dork I am, though. We go as a family to Ethel M's all of the time, and as I was reading that you went, I was screaming in my head, "Heather went to Ethel M's! A celebrity was so close to our house and I missed her!" The thought of you visiting Vegas was way more exciting than any movie star that might hang out here. ;)
Posted by: Allison | February 25, 2012 at 11:23 PM
I love your blog :) Just started my own. Love seeing all of your pics!
Posted by: Angela Lealaogata | March 05, 2012 at 10:13 AM