{five months....and he's all i know}

Celebrating five months today. Five months since God brought Jeff into my life. Unfortunately, I don't have much that I can give him other than my heart at the moment. However, I surprised him tonight with homemade chocolate chip cookies (his favorite), a card and a gift that to most would seem more than a little random. Jeff and I are carbon copies in so many ways. During a rather random conversation with good friends about a month ago, we were all asked to share what our favorite kitchen appliance was. If Jeff and I weren't on the same wavelength as often as we are, I would not have believed that we BOTH just "happen" to have the same favorite "appliance." THE EGG SLICER!!! Not only is it our favorite....but it is our favorite for the same funky reasons. LOL! So random. Such a lame thing...but a fun symbol of how often our thinking is so completely the same. The best part of tonight, however, was snuggling up and sharing our favorite "us" memories. I can't believe how many amazing memories we have made in such a short amount of time. Jeff is my best friend...and truly my soul's mate. What a blessing to have a relationship so worthy of celebration.

I hadn't realized really, until I actually vocalized it to Jeff tonight.....that the most interesting thing has happened since he came into my life, and specifically the past few weeks. I'm not sure that I can even put what I am feeling into words....because it's hard for me to even understand completely. The growth and the strength that I have received from everything that has happened in my life is still here....and the strong woman I am today is the result of those experiences. But everything that happened...the pain and the aching....everything....even past relationships....it is all almost like a dream now. Jeff and I have spent so much time together....so much...that the only thing that seems real to me now.....is us. I can't even remember how my life was before him. How can that be? How could everything that was so painful just....be gone? I always worried about my poor heart that had been through so much....whether it had the strength to ever trust and attempt to love again. But the hurt is completely gone....almost as if it was never there. No. Not as if it was never there....because my heart is STRONGER, DUE to everything it has been through...just as I am. More accurately, not only has my heart healed completely, but it feels and beats and loves stronger than it ever has in my life. I can't really describe how I feel....and maybe this feeling is simply BEYOND words...and not MEANT to be described. However, although I KNOW the reality of my past hurts.....if I didn't know better, I would think it was all a dream. Jeff, our completely healthy, transparent and unmatched connection, this pure and complete happiness and the love I feel for him...is all that I can see.

A few months ago, a girlfriend of mine posted a quote on her Facebook wall (the quote I printed over our picture above)...and I only glanced at it briefly. I remember thinking it was cute....but it didn't impact me enough to even make me want to save it. I actually completely forgot about it until RIGHT NOW while I was sitting here doing my best to describe what I am feeling. And it suddenly came back to me. NOW it has meaning for me...because this is exactly....exactly what Jeff has done.  This saying or quote...or whatever it is...is no longer just a "cute" thing that every woman longs for. It is my reality. Five months....and he's all I know.

Comments

[Lynn]

I LOVE that quote. So deeply true it is! Well put.

[Sarah Hasson]

I have no words Heather.... I'm so happy for you both! TRULY and DEEPLY happy!!! LOVE YOU!! xoxo