Oh, that I had 87 extra hours in every day….then, and only then, I just MIGHT be able to stay caught up here on my blog. *sigh* Such is life, however, and I am learning that there just ISN’T as much “free time” in my “new normal.” It is what it is. And so, I am letting go of the expectation to write on a regular basis. I shall write….when I DO have the time the write…or when I am so compelled, that nothing can KEEP me from writing. And for now, in this phase of my life, I need to be at peace with that. And so I am.
This entry, I have actually written before…carefully and thoughtfully….right before my internet cut out and I lost it completely. I had exhausted so much energy in writing it, that at that time, the thought of doing it all over again was overwhelming. And so I just simply took a deep breath, closed my computer, gave myself about 87 seconds to mourn the loss of the hour that it took to write the entry…and then I let it go. It’s all good. So here I am again, attempting to write the same entry, which will likely be much less eloquent…and to that, I say…whatever. LOL! Hit it!
It’s been over a year since my divorce and I am only just starting to involve my little ones in activities with other single parents and their kids. I have moved very cautiously in that regard. And even still, when it comes to participating in those activities, I am not in the very least, there to socialize. I shut down my socializing motor and am there SOLELY as a Mama, to help her little ones have a good time and socialize with other kids. In fact, at a few of these activities, my friends have commented and wondered, ‘if I’m okay.” LOL! Yes, I am. Perfectly fine. But when my babies are there, I am completely focused on them. So while others are socializing, I am being Mama….100%. Single family activities, for me, are not my opportunity to get to know people and socialize. Others may feel differently, and I am so completely okay with their choice. It just isn’t my choice. And that’s perfectly fine.
So anyway…that being said, I was excited when a large group of us decided to take all of our little ones to the Manti Pageant in June. I had been to the Pageant a few times when I was in college, but couldn’t remember a thing about it. It sounded like a great activity to introduce my babies to my friends and THEIR babies. And one of the major BONUSES of this idea? It would also help us to cross off yet another item off of our little family’s BUCKET LIST….HIT IT!
All three of us were seriously excited…..especially since we got to ride down to Manti with Frank (and his ridiculously awesome baby girl and her best friend)…one of my very best friends, and someone my little ones had already grown to trust and really love. Love this picture of me and Frank at the pageant. (P to the S...many THANKS to Frank for taking all of the pictures that night so this photo-crazy Mama could take a break. Can't tell you how nice it was to leave...my....camera....at...home. HIT IT!)
When we got to Manti, we were so thrilled to see that our friend Ny (pronounced “Knee”) had reserved a HUGE section for us…FRONT and CENTER in the first four rows of chairs! HIT IT! Such an awesome guy! My babies couldn’t believe how CLOSE we were! We were all set with our blankets, pillows and snacks and ready for a wonderful production. It was so fun to see all of my friends in a social setting WITH our kids. Loved seeing my crazy friends that I go dancing with (will soon have a blog entry dedicated solely to them…when I am blessed with adequate time to write it) all in “parenting mode.” Suddenly, I felt even closer to them than I did already. We sat on a row with Frankie on my left and my little babies snuggled up on me on my right to watch the show. It was a little chilly, so we all snuggled up pretty close. Love that.
When the Pageant began, my little ones were IMMEDIATELY intrigued. It is definitely a spectacle. There are HUNDREDS of actors, loud booming voices, spotlights and bursting flames so huge that we could FEEL the heat from where we sat. They sat wide-eyed literally throughout almost the entire show…which is saying a lot, considering the production itself didn’t even START until after their bedtime. The majority of the time, Seneca actually moved onto my lap and snuggled into both me and Frank. There was something kinda cool about that…that she was so comfortable with him, that she had no reservations snuggling with us both. I loved that. When Baby moved, Kaden scootched (apparently “scootched” isn’t a real word, says my Spell Check. Nevertheless, I refuse to replace it. LOL!) on over and snuggled up right next to me and ended up drifting off for a bit right at the end. Seneca was amazing. She didn’t stop asking questions almost the entire time. LOL! Questions like “Why is Joseph Smith on the gwound?” or “Mama, why is he digging up the gwound to find the plates?” and when a live Angel Moroni stood on the temple (which, even I admit, was pretty awesome)…she asked, “Mama, is that a weal angel ow a human?” LOL! Oh, love her. It was such a cozy and comfortable night, the four of us snuggled up.
Now I have to say, though my little ones were completely enthralled and it really did teach them, in a very simple way, the story of Joseph Smith and stories from the Book of Mormon (which was great)….it was truly one of the corniest scripts and productions I have ever seen. I don’t say that with any intention to offend anyone. It’s just my opinion. There was part of me that was a little embarrassed by it. I felt as if it almost made the Joseph Smith story appear very “hokey.” (oddly, “hokey” IS a real word, according to my Spell Check. LOL!) I am so big on good quality writing and acting….in literature, film, etc….and WOW…the Pageant script was truly some of the highest grade, quality cheese I have ever heard. It was so overly dramatic..just too much. I kept looking at Frank like “Rrrrrreally?” The two of us had the hardest time NOT giggling through it. I hate to say it, but it is what it is….and this is my blog, so I am allowed to be completely honest. So there. Hit it! STILL..it all goes back to the fact that MY BABIES had a blast. They LOVED the entire evening…and were even COMPLETELY ENTERTAINED by the whole spectacle of the Pageant. So super cheese or not, it was a raging success!!!
I absolutely love the amazing GROUP SHOT that Ny took of all of us before the Pageant started (at the beginning of this entry). You’ll notice that there are very FEW of our babies in the pic. By the time we got to the group shot, we had already taken a bunch of pics and the MAJORITY of our babies were completely fed up with pictures…darnit. LOL! And so, the group pic is mainly just of the singles, with a few of our babies….and some of the Manti Pageant actors/actresses. Classic shot. As for the pics with my babies (thanks to Frank for taking them)….priceless. I love them so much that my heart may seriously explode. (Oddly, Frank is TALLER than me in the picture. Hmm….curious, since he’s 2-3 inches SHORTER than I am in real life. LOL!)
And these dear friends….especially three of my closest friends there that night…Frank, Karen & Sherri (appearing in that order, in the pics below)….oh my heart. I can’t tell you how much I love them and how much I love THEIR babies as well.. They are living proof that God lives and loves me. What angels they have been in my life…through the amazingly blessed and challenging process of getting used to my “new normal.” Oh how I love them.
How grateful I am for good friends. As I mentioned, I have moved EXTREMELY slow with introducing my little ones to my friends, people I date, etc. Probably slower than I even need to. However, I want to protect them above and beyond ANYTHING. They are so completely loving and trusting and attach so quickly (because their hearts are as big as the moon)… and the LAST thing I want is to cause them any unnecessary heartache. Still, I started feeling like it was time, and that it was okay and even BENEFICIAL and HEALTHY, for them to know that Mama has friends she spends time with when they are with their daddy. And because I love my dear friends so much for the good, honest and kind people they are, and for the SAFE atmosphere they provide, I felt complete trust with bringing my children to meet them..and was PROUD to introduce them to my kids. Such amazingly good people. God has blessed me RICHLY by bringing each and every one of them into my life.
Overall, we had an amazing evening, ending with a peaceful and wonderful drive home from Manti as Frank and I spent quality time chatting while our sweet babies slept the entire drive. It was pure heaven. So grateful to have had such a great night with my two precious angel babies and my dear and amazing friends -- enjoying a production, which although ridiculously cheesy, focused on an event and subject matter that still remains so deeply and firmly rooted in my heart, no matter what life changes and challenges I am blessed with. Life is awesome…and God is so, amazingly good. :-)
