I have tried so often to describe the immense happiness that I feel inside...it's not like any other type of happiness I have ever experienced in my life. It is so complete, pure, unfailing and peaceful. More importantly, however, it is non-circumstantial. That is...WOW. Indescribable. By far, one of the greatest blessings I have ever received. No matter what happens in my life or what is thrown my way, no matter who I come in contact with and how they engage with me (whether positive or negative), my heart remains steady and at peace and this happiness remains constant. I never thought that feeling like this could be possible. Life used to control me and I could feel the "ups and downs" even physically. It was such a rollercoaster. My heart would race and pound when I was hurt and angry....and now...it is at peace. Always. I could feel the stresses of life in my back and the immense pain was debilitating and had me in the ER at least once a year and on pretty heavy pain meds throughout the year to maintain the pain. And now...I very rarely feel even the slightest ache in my back. The pain is gone. Every now and again, I feel like pinching myself to make sure that it is real..and it is. It proves to be genuine over and over, as it is tested on a regular basis. And this happiness could ONLY come from my loving Father in Heaven. He is SO good to me. For those who may not believe that God is still working His miracles, please believe me when I say that He is. This peace in my heart, this UNCHANGING and UNFAILING peace and happiness is nothing SHORT of miracle in my life.
I was so thrilled when I found this quote in the most amazing book that I am reading right now (thanks to my sweet Christy who recommended it for our newly organized book group!), "Something More" (sequel to "Simple Abundance," which about 90% of the women I know have already read. LOL!) by Sarah Ban Breathnach. (You can find "Something More" on www.half.com for 75 CENTS!! Pick it up TODAY...it is AMAZING..and I'm not even done with it yet!!) It was SARAH'S eloquent writing that FINALLY described so perfectly what I was (and still am) feeling.
"Many of us confuse happiness and joy. Happiness is often triggered by external events, events we usually have no control over -- you get the promotion, he loves you back, they approve your mortgage application. Happiness camouflages a lot of fears.
But JOY is the absence of fear. Joy is your soul's knowledge that if you don't get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it's because you weren't meant to. You're meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, SOMETHING MORE. Joy is where your life began, with your first cry. Joy is your birthright."
-Sarah Ban Breathnach, "Something More"
I realized, after reading this quote, that the reason I couldn't ever manage to define the happiness I am feeling, is that it ISN'T happiness at all. :-) It is JOY! I am so completely and utterly filled to overflowing with PURE JOY! And as a result, I will spend eternity expressing my very passionate and heartfelt gratitude to my loving Father in Heaven, at EVERY given opportunity...because of the MIRACLE it is in my life.
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