{blessings & better with age}

I have said this so many times, but God is so good to me, and yet again, touched my heart through music this week. Two days ago, I heard a song that I had never heard before. The tender lyrics to this song, “Blessings,” could not more adequately express the feelings I have in my own heart. How sincerely grateful I am to a loving Heavenly Father for the many many countless miracles in my life that have come often disguised as "trials." I am so greatly blessed. Though it may not seem like it at first, the rest of this entry does all tie in to this song. Bear with me. :-)


BLESSINGS
by Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
...We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

We had our family birthday party on Monday night  for all of the March/April birthdays. I will blog more about that tomorrow…SUCH a fun night! My nephew Taylor snapped a quick picture of me and my babies as we were running in the door (I like to snap a quick pic at the BEGINNING of the night so they don't have to pose later and we can get the "memory keeping" out of the way so we can have FUN!!!) at Oma and Opa's on Monday night. Oddly enough, it turned out to be one of my favorites of us....and it was completely "off the cuff." Go figure...we have professional pics taken..and THIS quick shot ends up being one of my faves. LOL! I was sitting here in my room tonight, editing these pictures and listening to "Blessings" and it came to this picture of me and my babies. I zoomed in a bit just to make sure that this particular shot was completely in focus. It was the first time I could really see how much I have aged. WOW…gooodNIGHT....I've noticed wrinkles for a while now, but in this picture specifically, I noticed more wrinkles than I've ever seen before. I’m sure it doesn’t help (especially around my eyes)…that I’ve only slept about 87 minutes the past week and a half (possibly a SLIGHT exaggeration. Slight. LOL!), but still. :-)
 
Out of curiosity, I brought up a picture taken when I was 19 years old. Even then, I had one or two little smile lines instead of dimples and slight lines around my eyes. But otherwise, my face was so tight and soft and young. I was so innocent, with eyes so BRIGHT with hope for the future. I had no idea what my future would hold. Who would guess that those bright and innocent eyes, after so much of a life that they never could have expected, would now be KNOWING eyes that have seen so much and still shine brighter than ever, accompanied by a smile so broad and genuine that it literally RADIATES the joy that it is in my heart?! So many women want to erase the age, erase the wrinkles, erase the pain and the worry. As I sit and look at my pictures from then and now, I have to admit, I am thoroughly loving how age looks on me. All of my wrinkles come from 33 years of not just many worries, heartaches, pain, loneliness and "countless sleepless nights," but also faith, happiness, gratitude, so many amazingly wonderful memories and very literally pure JOY. They come from LIFE!!!!! Every line on my face is either a  "battle scar" or a “smile line” - signs of where I have been and everything I have seen. 14 years ago, only my mouth smiled. :-) At age 33, there isn't an inch of my face that DOESN'T show signs of my smile. ;-) How could that be anything BUT awesome!!!?!

I know for a fact that there are countless women my age and even OLDER than I am who show fewer signs of aging than I do, but I still would never erase a single moment of my life or a wrinkle from my face – all that have come both from either extreme moments of JOY or trials that have ALWAYS proven to be His "mercies in disguise." I am young at heart…and feel younger than I have ever felt in my life.  Despite many challenges, my spirit and soul are strong and my heart is pure and full of more love than it can possibly contain...and I personally believe, WRINKLES AND ALL, that I am getting even better with age. :-)

Comments

[rumz]

Speaking of music, I made an attempt to gift a song via iTunes on Sunday evening--- did you happen to get it? (maybe check your spam for email from Apple / iTunes) If not, let me know so I can just e-mail the track.

[Dawn]

So True! You say the things that I feel and think. We should get better with age....that's a wonderful thing. I have been told that a few times this year...that I get better with age. I think it's because the happiness finally does radiate more from me. (I am happier~wrinkles and all) I was even told by a security guard at the airport....Love THAT! Getting better with age makes you look forward to each birthday more. :) Thanks for sharing Heather....I love your honesty and your abilitly to put your thoughts into words.

[LeShel]

I love your smile lines. I love that as we age our life shows in our body. I regular look at my hands and see their battle wounds. I'm thankful for all the work they've capably done. You're WONDERFUL

[Holly]

Heather you are a hot momma. Love you and miss you. I'm so glad your birthday was so awesome. Love reading your blog. You are amazing with words.

[Kandace Wittwer]

Happy Birthday!! You look great! I wish I had enough guts to make a change like that. I've been blonde my ENTIRE life and have always wondered what it would be like to go dark. But...too chicken! Thank you for your thoughts...you are an inspiration.

[creole wisdom]

Heather you have a really beautiful perspective! Thank you for sharing that song, too :)