{happy 4th birthday seneca!}

 
I have to say, as I sit here realizing that it was 4 years ago today that my precious little baby girl was born, I am terrified thinking how fast that time has gone. 4 years...gone...in the blink of an eye. My heart aches and my tears fall freely as the reality of how quickly time goes by, truly sets in today. I remember this day, the day my dream baby arrived, very literally as if it was yesterday. I remember the conversations in the delivery room, how quickly the contractions started when I was induced and how they had to slow me down because the pain was so overwhelming (even for someone with a very high pain tolerance) and the epidural hadn't had time enough to set in - tears quietly streaming down my cheeks as I tried to bear the immense pain that had come on so suddenly. I remember my sister Julie standing right up into my face trying to help me breathe and I finally had to ask her to just leave because it just wasn't helping..LOL (love you Pulse). I remember my doctor showing up just in the nick of time. I remember being annoyed that it had all happened so fast that they hadn't gotten me a mirror to watch the delivery. I remember them saying that the baby had a lot of hair. I remember  the doctor and nurses saying how beautiful the baby was and me saying, "Is she a girl?" since no one had shown her to me yet and confirmed the gender. LOL! And I remember finally seeing her face.....and recognizing her instantly; knowing she was mine...my dream baby. I remember knowing that her name would be Seneca Zella.
 
I remember the epidural only taking on one side, but taking so strong that I couldn't be moved for 3 hours after the delivery. I remember the cafeteria sandwich the nurse brought me after I delivered and I remember thinking that it was the best sandwich I had ever had. I remember being moved to a new room and instantly blogging about my precious little angel. I remember being so tired and sending my little one to the nursery so I could sleep. I remember sleeping through the whole night and never even remembering the nurses taking my blood and checking on me throughout the night. I remember the next morning, aching to have my little one next to me and calling the nurse and saying, "Can you please bring her to me...I need to hold her." I remember that the pediatrician was with her at the time and I had to wait. I remember my heart aching and aching until that door opened. And I remember seeing her for the first time the day after she was born.....she was literally breathtaking. I remember holding her all day long those few days...not even watching TV...just holding her and looking at her and feeling like my heart would absolutely explode. I wouldn't put her back in her little bed for anything. I remember feeling complete peace. I'll never forget that feeling. I remember taking her home to her big brother. I remember seeing him hold her and love her and thinking, "these two precious ones are my miracles...this is what my life is all about." And I remember all of this so vividly...as if it were yesterday. And just like that....we are 4 years later...and my baby is not a baby anymore.

Dearest Seneca, you are Mama's little angel. You are such a spirited and curious and creative little thing. You try our patience often with your stubbornness and yet, how grateful I am that you ARE so determined and that you never give up. If we take that heavenly quality and focus it on good things, what a strength that will be throughout your life. You will be a young woman who stands for truth and righteousness with a resolve to never give up and never give in when faced with trials and temptations. You are so smart and your sense of humor not only keeps us laughing constantly, but that humor has been a great source of strength to your Mama. Your sense of humor and positive attitude will be a strength to you during difficult times and will always lift those around you...as it does me now. You are rough and tumble, very rarely clean and tidy, because you love to get out there and have fun...make messes, build things, play in the dirt (and eat it sometimes too)...you like to get your hands dirty. Another great quality. I hope that you will always get right in there and "get your hands dirty" and not simply stay on the sidelines and watch others serve and be involved. But then, you are also soft and snuggly and so affectionate. You love your Mama and Daddy and you love to tell us often. You also tell your brother how much you love him and give all of us squeezes all day long. I hope that you will always be so vocal about your feelings towards those you love. Never waste an opportunity to tell those you love that you love them. Never. Stay close to us and stay close to your big brother. And please, always stay close to your Savior. For He loves you just as we do and just as we will always, always be here for you....so will He. Seneca, you and Kaden are my greatest treasures. Your Mama is very creative and many feel that she can make just about anything. But let it not be misunderstood....YOU TWO are the grestest things I have EVER made. EVER. You are my little miracles. My love for you could never adequately be described....and perhaps you may never know of the love I have for you until you have little ones of your own. But until then, (and I believe that this is one of the ways that you and Kaden have become so affectionate...and I love that), Mama will continue to try and show you.....by loving and squeezing and telling you 10 bazillion times a day just how much you mean to me and how wonderful you are. Your Mama and Daddy love you and Kaden above everything. Seneca...please don't ever forget who you are, what you stand for and that we, and your Heavenly Father love you so much. We are so proud of you and look forward to every moment we have with you..you bring pure JOY to our lives. You will always be Daddy's little "Seni" and Mama's "Baby Girl."  Happy Birthday Seneca!!!

Comments

[ba]

beautiful post! thanks for getting me to cry 1st thing this morning!
happy birthday cute girl! some day we will meet!

[Dawn]

tell that cute little girl that I wish her a happy birthday too. I love Seneca. She makes my heart happy too just for the few times I've been around her. What a blessing she is!

[lynn Crapo]

Happy Birthday Seneca!!!

That was beautiful Heather! Thanks for sharing the links. I was not a follower of your blog then and I really enjoyed reading your past posts. Thank you!