Many of you know that this past year has been one of self re-discovery for me. The next few weeks, along with just catching up on the many things that have gone on in my life, I will also be covering different aspects of my "Extreme Makeover," if you will...starting today. Scents may seem like a small thing to many...especially when it comes to perfume and cologne that people choose to wear. He wore
Contradiction for years, but was really not attached to any certain cologne. And for many years he didn't wear any at all. I am not that way. Sights, sounds and smells all are more than just something you spray on to make you smell nice.....they spark a million memories for me. Scents in general bring back so many wonderful memories for me. For example...whenever I smell Oil Of Olay facial cream, I instantly think of my Mom; Green Mennon's Aftershave - my Dad, Drakkar reminds me of the first time I ever said, "I love you," the smell of white Wrigley's chewing gum reminds me of my Grandma Dahlquist and forever and ever, Quelque Fleur perfume will always remind me of my sister Julie. For over 14 years, I have worn the same perfume...Allure by Chanel. And I recently decided that with the many changes that were happening in my life the past year, that it was time for a new scent....to begin a new era of my life. I felt like I was saying goodbye to a dear old friend. I sat on my bed, closed my eyes, removed the lid to my last bottle of Allure and inhaled deeply.......and was suddenly flooded with memories of my first dates and school dances, my senior year of highschool, graduation, my first years of college, night after night after night after night at dance clubs, countless dates, my wedding day, the days I blessed my babies, etc. etc. etc. 14 years of memories flashed through my mind with a single brief sniff of what has been my favorite scent for so many years. And now it was time to move on.
I decided that while we were in Vegas just before Christmas, I would choose a new scent for both me and Chas (and Kaden....since he wears his Daddy's and has worn his Daddy's cologne since he was a toddler). There were quite a few that I liked for Chas and he was pretty much happy with anything, so after smelling a good variety, I settled on Polo Black....it's heavenly. Love it. The decision for MY new scent was a more lengthy process. I think Chas didn't quite understand. There were a lot of nice smelling ones.....but this was more than just a perfume to me. 14 years, I had had the same scent....and choosing a new scent, one that would reflect the changes in me and accompany me through the next chapters of my life, was a big deal. It was time to say goodbye to the scent that had accompanied me through my teen years, single adult years and young married years and find a new one that was fitting for a new woman and a new era. I am not kidding when I tell you that I must have smelled over 40 perfumes, each one sprayed on a little piece of paper. But pretty soon, I noticed that about half way through, I kept smelling new scents and always returning to one that I was somehow drawn to. By the end, I had narrowed it down to a few scents, but still kept returning to one particular scent. I figured my decision was made up....I had finally found the perfect scent that best represented the new me. The scent that I was drawn to was Versace Signature. A new scent to represent new beginnings. And I love it....it's so "ME."
Part of the changes on the inside that I will go into more depth about very soon, have also been accompanied by many changes on the outside. And although I am still a low maintenance, rough and tumble Tom Boy on the inside that gets along better with "the guys" and loves to go camping and get dirty, there is no denying that the new me has LOVED becoming more feminine on the outside the past year. If you had told me a year and a half ago that I would have my ears pierced (and be wearing HUGE fabulous earrings), be wearing PINK (which I did for the FIRST TIME EVER last year), be wearing eye shadow and eye liner (wearing both of those for the FIRST TIME EVER as of this year), wearing tons of jewelry and bling, I would have laughed so hard I probably would have wet my pants. That was SO not me. And now...to be honest, I love it. I love taking care of myself, I love looking nice, I love accessories that enhance inner and outer beauty. I am seriously, honestly DIGGING being a CHICK! I am still easy going, down to earth, low maintenance and a fun tough chick on the inside, but now find no harm in a good pedicure, shopping with the girls (went shopping with a girlfriend for the FIRST TIME EVER just last year...isn't that crazy??) and just having fun being a woman. It's awesome!!
But I have to say, with all of those little changes happening here and there the past year, I finally did something yesterday that is so out there and so NOT the "old me" that it actually made me laugh out loud. Again, if you had told me a few years ago that I would do something like this, I would have laughed and said, "Yeah..when pigs fly!!" Well folks....pigs must be flyin' somewhere, because not only have I started wearing pink...CRAZY....but yesterday at my nail appointment, instead of my normal conservative white French manicure, I actually asked for a PINK French Manicure.......WITH GLITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PINK.......AND Glitter......CRAZINESS! And you know what? THEY ARE FABULOUS!!!!!
To some, these little things might seem trivial, excessive and unimportant. But for someone who was lost for over 7 years, hiding behind excessive weight, suffering from mild depression and lack of self-worth (that the majority of the world never even knew about because I have always been one to put on a smile and find the blessing in every difficult situation..which I still do and pride myself on. There are just too many good things in life to be down for very long.)....these little things are not little at all. I love who I am...I love who I am becoming and I love that for the first time ever, I love being and looking feminine. I am a beautiful and confident woman. Just the fact that I am able to say that after so many years of not believing that I deserved true happiness and believing that I had let myself go too far and would be overweight and unattractive for the rest of my life....THAT is not a little thing. Believing in myself and wanting make a little more effort than I ever have, to add a little sparkle to my outer appearance to match the absolute GLOW I feel on the inside for the first time in a long time....THAT is not a little thing. And so for now, my fingernails shall be PINK and SPARKLY and FABULOUS!!!
EDITED TO ADD: Just read a comment left on this entry by one of my sweet and wonderful blog readers that absolutely made my day today. She shared some AWESOME quotes that are directly related to this entry and are so wonderful, that I wanted to add them here for my own reference and to share them with all of my other blog readers. Lynn...I just love you. I hope that you and I get to meet someday. Your love and support, given so freely without even knowing me personally, is such a blessing!!! Here is Lynn's comment:
"You GO girl! Love it!
I was just discussing this very same thing on my blog the other day. Here's a quote for you from Brigham Young that I quote often:
'Let the sisters take care of themselves, and make themselves beautiful, and if any of you are so superstitious and ignorant as to say that this is pride, I can say that you are not informed as to the pride which is sinful before the Lord, you are also ignorant as to the excellency of the heavens, and of the beauty which dwells in the society of the Gods. Were you to see an angel, you would see a beautiful and lovely creature. Make yourselves like angels in goodness and beauty.' (DBY, 215) (Teachings of Presidents of the Church, BRIGHAM YOUNG, pg. 143 Paragraph 5)
And how about this one from Elder Douglas L. Callister, in the article Our Refined Heavenly Home, in THIS month's Ensign:
"Women ought to be praised for all the gifts they possess—including their attentiveness to their personal appearance—that so unselfishly add to the richness of the lives of others. We must not let ourselves go and become so casual—even sloppy—in our appearance that we distance ourselves from the beauty heaven has given us."
So once again, I repeat....
You Go girl! : D Love it."